Once Upon A Reality

The Sunrise Walk

Nancy Singleton — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 04:46:47 +0000

As I awaken I slowly make my way to the coffee pot and settle outside on the balcony. I notice on the horizon a vein of color start to appear. The darkness seems to split into like the narrow slit of God’s eye waking up into the world. In one corner primrose streamlining into a bold red as the clouds begin to descend from each other leaving a narrow entry for the sun to rise. Slowly the breadth of the horizon cast brilliant henna and citrine as God takes His paintbrush splashing in bright coral with a touch of lavender. The morning turns into an iridescent glow that can only be described as a Heavenly wake up call. I thank God for all the magnificent sunrises he has painted for me in an array of colors and shadows that not one has been the same. I feel as though I have my own personalized collection from the most divine, talented artist that ever lived.
I took the suggestion from good ole mom to get out of my apartment; go take a walk she harmonized along with its physical benefits.
I procrastinated on every step towards the door; right down to realizing I may need to add a dash of color to my pale cheeks, otherwise I may be mistaken for a northerner at the start of her South Florida vacation, rather than a resident of the sunshine state.
I decided to turn my walk into one of gratitude rather than worry about my future and where I would be a year from now. I was grateful for being alive and actually having working limbs that carried me across the drawbridge. I focused on my health, which could improve greatly, my children, which led me straight back to where I started with questions like, “Why was I here?” “Why won’t they call me?” “Is Steve really that evil?” right into, “Am I going to ever have my family back?” This could go on the entire walk until I asked God to help me focus on what He would have me focus on.
I crossed the never—ending—hustle and bustle of Atlantic Beach Blvd determined to find God amidst my surroundings. Suddenly the street noise was not as loud, as though the traffic was far in the distance or I was moving farther away from it. Tanned bodies were scattered along the cinnamon-sugar beach. Some with definite signs of wear and tear as they relaxed under the shade of palm tress. The younger, glowing, more defined bodies were applying the tanning oils or adjusting their I-tunes.
Walking along the sandy sidewalk I noticed the defined swooshing sound of the waves and how they seemed to be in perfect rhythm with my strides. The ocean was a rare jewel with different shades of emerald stretching into deep sapphire tones. I noticed a sail boat on the horizon and longed to be on it sailing to some far-away island where there were no worries; only ardent days of joy and peaceful nights of awe.
My daydream was interrupted as I looked in the sound of the clanging and clattering noise. There in front of me was Florida’s version of Old Saint Nick, pulling his metal detectors and sand sifters from his red pickup truck.
I picked up my pace as I headed back to my apartment. I couldn’t wait to get to my computer and write about the wonderful details God disclosed to me rather than have me swirling around within my powerlessness.

The Gift

Nancy Singleton — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 02:45:59 +0000

Children at one point or another come into conflict with their parents. Sometimes this conflict can be during childhood years or come as an adult and sometimes these conflicts can vary in length for resolution; some never are resolved. I suppose I was one of the fortunate ones where the real conflict (aside from my rebellious teens) came as an adult and thank you Lord has been in restoration mode for several years.
As I receive emails, in response to my writings, from my mother and father I sit and reflect on each one as if it were a Psalm of praise scrolled onto a rare golden tablet. Now, this may not mean much to my readers for you may be of the type that had perfect harmony within the boundaries of your immediate family. For me this is the amazing grace of God at work. The fact is restoration of any relationship takes not only a pure willingness on our part but the gift of God’s merciful grace moving us into repentance and forgiveness. I realize at this point in my life that His gift has always been there for me but I lacked the willingness to receive it with love and pure motives. I was always willing to accept His gracious gift if it would get me out of my current consequences, only to return it because of my self-will running a riot. I believe that it is grace that gives us what we need to make the right choices in life, unfortunately it will not do this for us. I have yet to master making right decisions because of the risks that are involved in choosing rightly. Or should I say I am prone to choose the easier, softer way that calls for the least amount of work (no change) therefore less risky. On the other hand by accepting His gift of grace in turn reinforces my foundation of faith. By faith I have been able to make the choices that do not promise to lead down a path of serene still waters; they are risks. Risks taken in faith do promise true spiritual growth and a dependence upon God. As my faith grows I am learning to trust God more and more with the entirety of my life leaning not on what I see or understand but believing in what I don’t see; trusting the inspired written words of the Holy Bible, as His personal promise to me.
Grace made it possible for me to get sober, ask for forgiveness, and restore broken relationships with my family. Grace allows me to be interested in others with compassion. Grace moves me to accept the call to be a writer that I would not be able to do without growing spiritually. All these choices have been ones that called for risks and a lot of work on my part. Please do not think that making these choices was easy for me. Sometimes I think I am blessed because I fell so far to the bottom of brokenness because the only way out was to trust God and I knew, deep down in my heart, that the choices that were risky were the right ones because they were the hardest. They were the ones that started sprouting spiritual growth.
I am amazed at the power of Grace to redeem and restore. I suppose without it I would not have never come to know, really know just how much my parents love me and have always loved me. Living without grace is a distortion of the thinks we see, think, and feel. For someone who has lived this way; thus far it was the greatest pain I have ever felt.
I am truly excited to see what else the grace of God will reveal as I travel this road to my happy destiny.

Post-Card Friends

Nancy Singleton — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 03:11:47 +0000

Anytime my caller ID tells me that Jessica is on the other end of the call, I answer with relief. My relocation to Florida some 700 miles away, stirs emotions in me that I have never experienced until now.

“I miss you too and can’t wait to see you in a few weeks”, she said.

Although she sounds upbeat during most of our conversations, I can sense her disappointment that I am no longer the instant lunch buddy, nor am I able to zip over for a night on her red sofa watching movies. I am going to North Carolina for Thanksgiving and December 7th Jess will fly back to Florida with me, staying an entire week. This offers great comfort to my soul.

The move here from North Carolina was a bittersweet one, a long awaited opportunity to be closer to my five children. Realizing the importance to travel through this door; Jess was happy for me but we both knew it would be difficult so far away from each other.

Amazingly our friendship has been easy to maintain. We seem to sail on the seas of friendship in sync with each other. Regardless of rough waters or the indecisiveness of the wind; we manage to stay aboard the same boat. We accept and love one another for who she is and share our thoughts with honesty and compassion. Without a real conscious decision to do so; overlooking one another’s shortcomings seems to just happen naturally. It is a stress free partnership that will last a lifetime.

I use to think if I had a lot of friends it would make me feel important and needed. Now, the number has diminished to the old rule of being able to count them on one hand and for this I am grateful. The relationships for a season, helped me grow, becoming the person I am today.

Meaningful friendships usually blossom from the ones that were planted before; those for a season. Some of these lessons were painful to separate from, while others were removed as answered prayers, opening the doors of opportunity that God continues to place before me.

During these times I learned a lot about forgiveness and acceptance; that I could forgive someone and accept them while keeping them at a healthy distance.

One of the advantages of having a best friend is being able to agree to disagree. With all human relationships, at one time or another, there will be disagreements. Most of them are so minuscule, compared to the bigger picture of life (to what does it really matter anyway) that after some good brewing time you cant remember what your opposition was in the first place.

As I write; listening to my reflections on friends has made me realize that I need to search for new ones in order to feel welcome and give my new surroundings a chance to feel like home. I must not discount the few I have met, giving friendship a chance to sprout, letting go of expectations. Holding myself back from comparing them to the friend I have in Jessica.

God didn’t create man or woman to be alone and with technology being as it is, we can have a host of past, present, and future friends with just one click. Somehow I don’t think that will be enough to replace a gentle touch, a warm embrace, a friendly smile, nor the sound of an encouraging voice even over the telephone. For me, these are the things that keep me glued together through the rough and choppy waters of life’s inevitable storms.